Embracing Radical Self-CARE: A Journey into 'Beingness'

Are you a modern woman who powers through tasks, often neglecting your own care and healing? It's time to prioritize yourself and lay the foundation for your transformative journey. In this episode, I’ll be revealing the foundations of radical self-care and taking responsibility for your own well-being.

We explore the concept of "doing versus being," and discuss the pressures of achieving and overworking. Imagine wiping the slate clean and envisioning the life you truly desire. Learn how to align your to-do list with your authentic desires and discover the power of slowing down.

I’ll explain the profound influence of the divine feminine and how it affects every aspect of our lives. Join me as we take the first step towards self-care together, by engaging in one radical act. I’m giving you practical tools and insights to help you slow down, embrace your "beingness", and create a life that aligns with your true desires.

Download our free self-care guide at goddessprocess.us/podcast and share your experiences with me

For more of Amber J and info on Women on Fire, visit goddessprocess.us

Transcript

Amber J  0:00  
Here's the thing, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, happy wife happy life, there is a reason why these sayings exists. The Divine Feminine controls everything, she births everything on the planet. So when she is in chaos, everyone is in chaos. So this is actually an act of responsibility, a radical act of self care, to slow down long enough to tune in to what you actually want, need and desire. So it can be expressed and manifested in the physical world. Hello, and welcome to Ignite change. I am Amber J, your host, your facilitator, your guide, today we're going to build the foundation of change. And how that starts is with self care. So this is going to start a five part series one of five building blocks toward towards the next chapter of your life. And it happens to be self care. And I'll speak from i i am a grind it out, do all the things push through power through celebrating an 80 Hour Work Week, can you relate? Can you relate to this? Yeah. And in my divine wisdom that I have gained over time, and through experiential learning, I am knowing that the wu wei, the Chinese Act of in action, of effortless in action is what and where my guidance, my internal knowing comes from. So in this episode, we will lay the foundation to go over the four steps of self care, which is see compassion and curiosity. A affirmations are ritual and E energy. I invite you right here right now to step into an act of self care I myself, this is my first episode back after my lumpectomy, I was diagnosed with breast cancer a little less than a month ago, it has been a whirlwind of doctors and advice and support and unfolding. I also my stepdad passed away a week ago, and my dog was attacked. And I look at you know, I know the universe is always conspiring in my favor. There's a little woowoo for you. But the universe is always conspiring my favor. I can either be a victim or at cause and source of it, which is I am co creating my experience on this planet at this time. I am 100% responsible for 100% of my results, you'll hear that a lot from me. And why what is my what is the purpose of me co creating this in my life at this time. So I'll break it down. And you could agree or disagree you can take this in sometimes already for this information. Sometimes we're not a lot of women experience breast cancer. One of the reasons is we tend to hold our emotions in we don't fully express ourselves. A lot of times we're not in touch with ourselves in order to express it. And it lives here in our heart chakra. It becomes suppressed. So the right side of your body is masculine left side is your feminine. So if there's something happening on the left side of your body, that is a just notice. Where am I not in my feminine? Where am I trying to control and maybe that's not serving me and your right side of your body is your masculine? Where I would say a lot of the women who I work with and have experienced life with live in their masculine the doing purposeful, pointed entrepreneurs work. Kill it doing the things will go deeper into masculine feminine energy on another episode. But for me, my breast cancer showed up on my right side, it is in. So right side masculine. Where am I doing? Where am I not opening my heart and sharing my emotions, leading with my feminine trying to get a result, as opposed to opening and allowing the wu wei, of effortless in action, where could I practice and it's all a practice, effortless in action. And I'll take a deeper cut at that in just a moment. So for me on my right side, my masculine side, this is your heart chakra, which the color is green. That's why when I talk about this, when I do the episodes, I'm in green, I'm tapping into my heart chakra. And how we as women, our heart gets broken. Our our heart is stifled, we put armor up on our heart, I would say, Where am I not allowing the masculine to show up for me? This having breast cancer has had me allow others to support me and show up for me. How often in my life have I powered through? Have I brushed off? No, no, no, I got it. No, you don't need to go get food for me. No, I don't need help getting to the thing. And this chapter of my life has been a practice in allowing others to show up for me to be of service to me. And even for me who is in this practice, it is a stretch. I am afraid to ask people to help because what if they say no, I'll seem weak. But if they have judgment on me, but that is not for me to worry about that is not my path to walk that is their path to lock. They can say no, they cannot raise their hand. And it's interesting in times of transition crisis, chapters of pain, who shows up? And it's not always the people you think it would be other people become stars in various chapters. And so I've noticed different people sharing their gifts with me, and me not saying oh, I don't know you well enough, or I don't think I've earned your friendship enough for you to show up for me in this way. Versus I am saying yes, I receive. Thank you for showing up. For me. That was a really long way to get to where we are in the self care episode. This is the foundation of building our next chapter. And it's one, I don't think we were taught. I mean, I grew up with bubble baths. I love a good bubble bath, and maybe massages. And that was like a special treat. Versus part of what keeps me healthy. It is part of what keeps my mind body and spirit at its best functioning at its best. So this is my invitation to you. Now the modern woman tends to power through I don't have time for that that's not on my list. How can I ever get everything done? If I'm getting a massage, or taking a walk or meditating or fill in the blank, and I am going to butt up against that belief because it is merely a belief that does not serve you. It shortens your lifespan. It shortens the things that you value most. Because you may not even be in relationship with the things that you actually value most. What am I talking about? We have to slow down long enough to hear the nudges in the ways we need to go. So maybe those nudges are it's time for me to evolve my relationship, whether that staying together and expanding it or heightening it or deepening it or leaving it evolving into a new chapter around a job. Maybe you've always wanted to write or dance or be in marketing or fill in the blank, whatever that is. I needed to pay the bills I needed to do what my parents expected of me what society expected of me who can relate does that land with you?

Are you hearing yourself in any piece of this? If so, you know, put that in the comments. Ping me email May I want to know what is going on in your world, because here's the thing, no matter what it can, it starts out as a whisper. And the sound will increase to talking, and then a little louder, and then a yelling and then screaming, and then we are taken down by it. So the sooner we can tune in to our inner knowing a lot less pain will come our way. I know it sounds counterintuitive, I've been where you are sitting. If you just take, start with five minutes a day, to sit and meditate, close, your eyes, slow down long enough to listen to what we have inside. And I know, some of us don't want to slow down, because we're afraid of what will be revealed inside. And yet, there is no getting around it. So I'm here to be with you to be your change consultant to help you navigate this because there isn't a rulebook for this chapter of your life, you get to create it. And that can be very scary. We have followed the rules, the invisible rules, the societal rules, our religion, the things we thought we were supposed to do. And that's gotten us to here. And for some of us, it's been pretty successful, pretty okay. But we're at this point. And we're like, I thought this would make me happy. I thought, the money, the kids, the house, the vacations, the fill in the blank, would make me happy. And we're waking up in our 40s 50s and 60s, and it really didn't fill me as much as I thought it would. And I'm with you. You're not alone. So step one, self care, compassion for myself and others curiosity for myself and others. affirmations, being clear on what I desire, when I am clear on what I desire, and that takes time, then I can affirm it in the world ritual or ritual may just mean doing your skincare in the morning, or it may mean doing witchy stuff at the beach, whatever that means to you. It runs the gamut. And I'll show you some examples. I'll give you some tools, try them are just trying stuff. Nobody's nobody's looking. And that's, that's a Aha, I just would like you to embrace if you don't take anything else away from this podcast. It is nobody else is watching you. Everybody is so concerned with their self with their things, they don't have time to be concerned with you. So do the weird thing. Do the outrageous thing. Wear the crown, do the Zumba class, or the salsa class or go on that iOS, go retreat and try the mushrooms. Whatever it is, this is your life. You are not here to live anyone else's. So with that, what I want to the concept I want to land for us today as we go on this self care journey. And I want you to know that on my website, Goddess process.us/slash podcasts is a free self care guide for you to download. So download that there are many tips, tools and tricks. It has car E on there. So you have these lessons, these modules to go back to you can print it on your computer and follow along and try new things. There's some new things on there that maybe you've never heard of before. But it's a good jumping off point. So I invite you to download that free. It's on my website. Go there. Check it out. I'm sure we'll have the link in the show notes too. What I really want to land for you is doing versus being and I've alluded to this earlier, and Huawei the Chinese in action, the act of inaction, effortless inaction. Curious, what comes up for you, when you hear doing versus being doing is the masculine feminine is being the feminine is enough. Just by existing take that in. You are enough just by existing you don't have to do anything else. You don't have to do do anything to be worthy of love to be worthy of existing to be a value on the planet? I have worked 40 years on being valuable from my doing by getting accolades by achieving by overworking. Can you relate to what I'm saying? So, where in my life? Am I doing life, as prescribed by people who have come before me? They don't know anything more than you do. Nobody knows nothing. It's all made up. So if you were to wipe the slate clean, right and choose into your life, what would you want your life to look like? What I noticed my muscle memory is I go straight into doing mode, I need to build a team, I need to put a business plan together, I need to raise money, I need to do do do do do I need to get an office I need to do this. How many of us I'm looking at it right now have lists of to dues. And I'm not saying we stop doing all the things and just lay there and the universe come to us to all Allah secret style, we get to do the things that are in alignment to what we actually desire. So how many of us are spending our day doing X, Y, and Z running errands, running the kids doing, doing doing? Because we should. And we should all over ourselves. So stop shooting on yourself. And these aren't even the things that aligned with what we want. So step one, slow down long enough to know what you want. Start the process of what do I truly desire? What do I truly want in my life? I want peace in my life. I want happiness in my life. I want to be surrounded by joy by people who are happy people who are up to doing powerful things in the world or up to creating community. Only you you and you know this nobody else. You're the only one who can answer this question. And then when I have a semblance, and you do not have to have the crystal clear, I'm going to wrap up up up up. When I have an inkling, I want to have more time with my family, then you get to look at your to do list, right and go is this serving my vision of having more time with my family. Cross off the things that don't align, you will notice you will lift a lot of expectation tension, exhaust exhaustion off your plate. But it's only you that can do this. I don't want you to feel overwhelmed. And know that maybe sounds daunting. It really starts with slowing down. And that's the other side of it the Beingness maybe it's sitting in nature sitting on your rooftop or at the beach, laying there, noticing what floods into your headspace into your mind's eye. And just being I don't have to get anywhere, I don't have to do anything. I am enough, just by existing and that is a practice all in itself. So my invitation to you after this episode is download the self care guide. Do one of the radical acts of self care. It is a radical act, to take time for yourself to create a boundary where you carve out five minutes, 30 minutes an hour just for you. And here's the thing. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, happy wife happy life. There is a reason why these sayings exists. The Divine Feminine controls everything. She births everything on the planet. So when she is in chaos, everyone is in chaos. So this is actually an act of responsibility, a radical act of self care to slow down long enough to tune in to what you actually want, need and desire. So it can be expressed and manifested in the physical world. So you can ask your partner what you need, what you desire for your children, what you desire from your job or this next chapter. It's not a place you have to get to, we are on the journey, the ever unfolding journey. And here's the thing, you are not alone, you are not alone. You are not alone. There is a army of us who are transitioning, transforming, stepping in to this divine feminine chapter of self expression, ownership and value just by being you are worthy. You are enough. You deserve to be here. You are so talented and gifted, and you have a unique gift and talent. And so this is what we are tapping into. So step one, download the guide, do one radical act of self care. Let me know what is going on. I want to know your questions, what comes up, slowing down can bring a lot of stuff up, I know that you are held in this process. We will come back to the next episode. There are four more of these episodes in this series, where we'll break this down. This is the foundational tools to move forward. And we will come back and reference this from time to time so tune in to ignite change this podcast every Thursday for more tips, tools and tricks and bring on teachers other guides as we go on this journey of igniting change in our life and together. Let's get until the next time. I'm Andrew J

Transcribed by https://otter.ai