Ignite Change with Amber J

CANCER FREE - The lessons I learned in my breast cancer journey

July 27, 2023 Amber J. Lawson Season 1 Episode 13
Ignite Change with Amber J
CANCER FREE - The lessons I learned in my breast cancer journey
Show Notes Transcript

I’m coming to you live from the end of my cancer journey and I’m sharing valuable tips and tricks that got me through it all, from facing unexpected twists and turns to the choices I had to make. The treatment's impact on my world along with the process of accepting what was happening and the growth it required.

 I’ll tell you why I dived into my heart chakra and worked out my feminine side as I count the many blessings during my treatment, even amid the loss of a loved one. Through it all, I want to emphasize the importance of seeking support and allowing others to show up for you.

 Join me as I open up about the manifestations i’ve created, including my dream Tesla, and the ways I’ve learned to honor my body and trust my internal knowing. My takeaways will leave you feeling empowered.

 If you or someone you know is going through cancer treatment or any life changes, this episode offers gems of knowledge and wisdom that will uplift and inspire. We have the power to create our world and we are the only solution for ourselves.

 Mentioned in this episode:

 Register for Camp Powerment to connect with like-minded individuals on a journey of growth and healing. I can save you a couple hundred dollars if you’re interested, just reach out to me.

 Free Self Care Guide - goddessprocess.us/podcast 

For more of Amber J and info on Women on Fire, visit goddessprocess.us

Amber J:

How dare I not allow others to show up for me, it is a daily practice for me. However, this took me down and I and you know, the body is a pure reflection of where we get to go, we get a whisper, then a little louder and a little louder until it becomes a scream. And I'm gonna say, this was not a whisper. This was somewhere in speaking in normal tone. Thank goodness, it wasn't a scream. It wasn't life or death. I mean, we had to handle it. And this is a wake up call. This is my wake up call to partnership. In my business, in my community in romantic relationships, I am open to receiving not doing it all by myself. I know this, we go further together. Let's go. Welcome to ignite change. I am Amber Jay, your host. And on this episode, I am cancer free. That's right. I have completed the cycle of my cancer treatment, I breast cancer treatment. And I want to share with you the highs and lows, and maybe some tips, tools and tricks to support you if you are on your own breast cancer journey and beyond. So welcome. I'm so glad you have joined us today. I am Amber Jay. I am committed to women who are going through change in their life, whether that's work, relationships, or aging our bodies, our health, to begin the next chapter of our life not alone, we are writing the new rules of this chapter, what are the invisible rules you have been following all your life, when we wake up to that it's frickin upsetting. And then we realize we have all the power to create our world. Our words, create our world, and I am not living other people's life. And if there's anything I want to take away, and I want to share with you from this cancer journey is I got no fucks to give, like, do what is right for you. So what was right for me in my body, there were some twists and turns I did not expect. And because I've been doing this work for so long, I felt it in my body. And I made choices moving forward, which I will unfold in this. But before we get started if you're watching the video, you can see here is my certificate of completion of radiation. If you go on social media, you can see where I rang the bell. I completed my process. Just to update you. I had stage one, breast cancer, I had about a centimeter of a growth in my right breast at 10 o'clock. It was estrogen and progesterone positive, which had me have to stop my hormone treatment for menopause, which was a frickin bummer. Because it was working, having been in perimenopause for I don't know probably three or four years now. And last summer about this exact time around my birthday. Leo season although I'm a Virgo, I identify as Leo i i was having insane hot flashes, we had gone to Mexico and you can only imagine the heat that was pouring off of my body and how that was frankly unbearable. And so I finally talked to my gynecologist and he put me on hormone replacement right away. And it pretty quickly made a difference in my mood, my hot flashes, my sexual desire. Other things, am I my desire to work out and to lift weights is felt more active, more happy and engaged in my life. And then three months later, bummer. My oncologist said I had to stop the hormone treatment. And she hooked me up with it's called bonafide which is an organic natural supplement. That takes about two to three months to kick in. I would say I'm about two three months in I'm still having hot flashes, maybe not as bad. And my mood, I would say, I am a pretty happy person. But I'm definitely turning inward more. And I have been hurting for quite, you know, through this process with spurts of going out, and I am starting to feel the desire to go out. So I'm hoping that because we've gone through this cycle of managing the breast cancer and then doing the process to have it not come back. That will be on our way. Oh, is that brain fog? Did I just have brain fog? I was just thinking I have this sheet of what certain types of breast cancer mean. And for those who know Louise Hay, the body keeps score, any of these kind of ideas, we manifest everything that happens in our bodies usually suppressed emotion. And so I look at where am I suppressing emotion. So think boobs is Heart Chakra. So heart, where am I congested in my heart, where have I been not open hearted or have toxicity in my heart. And the right side is my masculine, the left side is feminine. So mine is on my right side at 10 o'clock. So and close to the heart. So I would say I would relate that to how I go through the world in my masculine armoring or protecting my heart, from Love from even business partnerships, from deeper connection. That is my journey. That is why I teach it, you teach you what you are learning this is my process of vulnerability, deeper connection, not having all the answers and not doing it all alone. Welcome to my TED talk that's on my podcast. Um, so my process has been I had a regular mammogram I went in always, usually I have to come back a second time, I wasn't surprised. I had to come back a second time since I hadn't been the entire pandemic. And they spotted something I could tell something was something and then came back for an ultrasound. It was the ultrasound they found it in and then the biopsy is where they test it. Right. So three step process. However, when I met with my surgeon, I guess that was after the biopsy. She pointed out like I had mentioned before that this has been something that's been there for quite a while the good news about that was they weren't worried it was quick growing. So we had time to make a plan. And I mean, it stands to reason protecting my heart have I had any big relationships since 2016, somewhere in there. So I was in fiance and my partner had bipolar that was treated, I think it was diagnosed but untreated. And he began to share or exhibit very risky behaviors. We went through a very traumatic breakup, because there was so much love there. And that began my process to moving to Venice and this transformational journey. I've been through many transformational journeys, but this is the latest in which I now share with the wisdom that I have gained in this era in this chapter through with you, I share that with you. So just tracking back the maybe source of when I put protection up, stepped into my masculine doing, you're not going to hurt me. I won't open my heart. So I've had a couple other relationships since then, but not as long lasting or as in depth and noticing. I'm aware and it is a reflection that I reflect on. So discovered biopsy, it's there good news. It's it's small. We think we can do a lumpectomy and some little Oh radiation denote a little at that high radiation and you'll be out in no time. And I really took that attitude. I, I did believe that frankly I thought I would be done in a month. But that is 100% Me and my personality. I'm impatient and I think things will happen a lot faster than they do. So began the process of meeting with the surgeons and all the process to get ready. Had the lumpectomy the margins were clear. My stepdad died in the process. My mom got to be with me for the surgery. It's interesting that I am burping or whatever is happening. Throat Chakra, just notice just notice I'm just noticing like, what is this? The lump ectomy went ease and flow. I went into action mode, I launched this podcast, the midst of this to share this journey with you to really be vulnerable and transparent. There were two times in this journey. So there's mapping for the radiation, there's all sorts of different meetings or appointments that you have to go to. And I remember one when they placed the kind of chip or I guess the locator, and I went by myself, I didn't think it was a big deal. I can do this, I can just pop over and get this done and go go about my day. But it felt very intrusive and upsetting. And I shared that with you on social media, you can go see my reel on Instagram or at WOMAN ON FIRE mastermind. I felt that that was a moment that really hit me. Because I had taken the advice of Lauren pelts who recommended that I go to every appointment with a friend have someone there with you to hear the information to just be with you. And I didn't that one time, and I felt it. I felt very like a hunk of meat. And it was it was upsetting. I felt my mortality. And then I was like, Okay, I will have someone with me all the time, obviously in the surgery. Through the healing process. I'll tell you a group of my girlfriends, the Gino girls, the girls night out my friends who have been my friends for 20 years, Lisa, Lisa and Robin Jody, Zoe. Beth all contributed to a food train after my surgery, and my mom was staying with me. You know, my mom's not gonna go drive and get food I would have to order food. And what they did is they made sure we had food every day, say ordered and Postmates and that was one of the most nourishing acts of kindness besides friends coming over friends walking Leo camera and kadison and, and Marilla came in walk Leo Angelyn, Amber, the other Amber J. And that felt very supportive Aviva Of course, Aviva coming to just show up and be with me, my mom, in fact, was like, why are all these how do they have a code to your house to verwood and there's constantly history with people in your house. Interestingly enough, so as my mother's house like, come on, the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree. So that felt really nourishing. We went back and had my stepdads funeral. So I got to be surrounded by family and be supported. That way some of my sorority sisters came over and took care and checked in and just showed up, people showed up. That's really a takeaway. When the rubber meets the road, when we are in crisis, people do show up if we ask for support and we don't have to do it alone, how dare I take away the opportunity for people to show up to give that is well we could go into the masculine feminine, right that is the feminine one's role is to receive we literally haven't any. And in this time in society, we have very much masland up to the point where we block receiving receiving money receiving love receiving support, because we think it's weak. I got it I got it. There's that it's noble to just do it by yourself and I I'm the first one I kind of having to retrain myself, to allow others to show up for me to receive. And it's a muscle, just know it's a muscle, there are a lot of feelings that come up around that. But sometimes you're just flat out. My goal, my intention, you know, I want us all to live in a commune of conscious people, sharing our physical gifts in the world and our spiritual gifts to the world and the tools we have living in community. And yet, I very much covet my my alone time. It is very important to me to be I'm only just gonna say that, but new muscle new muscle in allowing others to receive How dare I not allow others to show up for me, it is a daily practice for me. However, this took me down and I and you know, the body is a pure reflection of where we get to go, we get a whisper, then a little louder and a little louder until it becomes a scream. And I'm going to say this was not a whisper. This was somewhere in speaking in normal tone. Thank goodness, it wasn't a scream. It wasn't life or death. I mean, we had to handle it. And this is a wake up call. This is my wake up call to partnership. In my business, in my community in romantic relationships. I am open to receiving not doing it all by myself, I know this, we go further together. Let's go. The second time I had another reminder because again, it is I am at the gymnasium of accepting support I it was time for me to go get measured and positioned for my radiation. And I went in again, another thing I just didn't think it was gonna be a big deal. Yet. Again, look on my social media, you can see me in the positioning machine. I don't know if it's a CT scan or what I don't know what kind of machine it is. And that's another thing my friends would ask questions that I didn't. I also feel like it's cultural. A lot of my girlfriends are Jewish, and they just are more inquisitive. They want to know all the things, how this works, why this and not that. And I grew up very Midwestern, you don't question authority is very much how I grew up. And it shows up in various times. That doesn't serve me especially in this time. So here I am, in the basement of Cedar Sinai. Now I know I could have gone a multitude of places. My doctor just recommended this and put me in contact with the doctor. And as opposed to realizing I was interviewing him I thought this was the place I had to go in order to get this special Florence protocol. So here I am in the basement of cedars by myself. The TGI Fridays you get like a chip, when they're ready to call you in you'd like take it back up to the host to stand to get your table while to go get my radiation. You know, here I am in this big room with this very loud machine, by myself getting tattooed. Because they you know, they if you're online, you can see they tattoo, they put four tattoos on you to line you up for the radiation. There had a tattoo on my body. And it hurt. It wasn't it wasn't pleasant. That really freaked me out. It really bummed me out. And I drove home. And I shared that on social media and people just showed up, you know, that's a stretch for me to be vulnerable in public to share my truth in in the moment not perfect, it not have to have a message or to land a point. It was just this sucked. And, and I again am reminded to not do it alone, not do it alone. Because if I was with somebody, I could have talked it out right then and there because I wasn't. And it could have called a myriad of people. I was not I was alone in my car driving home. That's when it kind of hit me. That's when it hit me that oh, this didn't feel good. And I feel a feel. I have feelings about this. So that's when I set up for my radiation team. So I always had at least one or two friends with me throughout. They happen to be all women, which I really appreciate. I just finished this week. This week was my last week. I am moved by that I am grateful that my process was pretty short. I think from detection to completion. It's been three months. So May June and June. ally. And I heed the wake up call. Heed the wake up call. Also in the midst of this, I manifested you this podcast ignite change. I enrolled a couple of new women into women on fire I created a partnership with camp power mint, which we have a couple of bunks still available, come to camp with 100 Women who are powerhouses come and have fun, expand yourself, heal and giggle. It's at the end of September like September 28. Through October 1, DM me if you would like $200 off, I have a way to get $200 off. And like I said, You got to kind of get it booked by August 1, because we only have a couple bucks left. So if that calls to you let me know I'd love for you to come join us at Camp powermat. It's in the Poconos. You can check it out online Camp powermat.com. I also manifested my Tesla three, this is something I have wanted for a very long time. And I got close in 2020, December 2020, I was going to get a used one and drive my mom back from Kansas City. And they couldn't get a car to me fast enough. And then I kind of forgot about it. And then my neighbor has a Tesla that she always lets me use. I've always had this belief that I just can't justify $1,000 a month for a go kart, I really don't drive that much. You know, I go maybe to the gym or to Trader Joe's or to an event. But for the most part I work at home, I go to new house which is up the street, I can ride my bike. And I just couldn't justify it. I had an aha moment. I actually did a new moon process in June. And I set this space up on my workstation here on my desk to call in new women into women on fire, which I did. I called in this Tesla finally and I decided I get to have a brand new one exactly the one I want that I get to put all my Juju all over. It's mine. And I'm gonna give up how I how that's gonna come to me what that looks like. So the next day because I had all these doctor's appointments, I needed to rent a car. So I use this this app called Turo to URL. I was like, Oh, well, you shouldn't rent a Tesla, because that is what I'm manifesting as just being what I'm manifesting. And then I had the aha moment, I can have this car for free, for free. By listing it on the tour up let people use my car, like Airbnb, but for cars, when I'm not using it, and it can make me money. And I break even like, I don't have to make buckets money, but I'm open to it. And I'm like contributing. It's such a like win win win. So that was all I needed to purchase my car. And within a day I had purchased it and and the following Monday I picked it up. It was that easy. That was easy. Where's my button. So manifestation, very much an action. To others, the pendulum swing is I leaned into having cancer as to not go do things that I would feel obligated to do in the past who can relate. It helped me work on muscle to really get clear on is this something that serves me in this moment? Is it something I actually truly want to do? Or am I doing it out of obligation? And to say, no, no, I'm too tired to go. No, I need to stay home. I feel like I have built a muscle of staying home or doing what nourishes my body and not doing things that have FOMO or IE to please other people. Because there's been some hard ones that I've had to say no to friends events and different obligations where he just said no, I'll join on Zoom or I can't even do that I'm done at two o'clock I need to go take a nap and honoring my body listening to my body not pushing or powering through trusting my internal and eternal knowing as what serves me best. All right, my takeaways my takeaways are, life is now. Life is now you're not not guaranteed tomorrow. Listen to the whispers and talking of your body as signs of what you get to take care of us Louise Hays method to get specific it could be suppressed anger or having held back your voice or unrequited love like a heart ache. And then once you identify it's like the three C's I always use in all my programs, which is clarity, clarity and committed action. I'll say it again, the three C's clarity, clearing and committed action clarity when I know I have heartache. Oh, I have frustration. I have undelivered communication, that then I can clear it out. What is my limiting belief around this? Or who do I need to go have a conversation with? Or what is the process to release that person or that situation from me? Maybe it's tapping, maybe it's a tearing up ceremony, maybe it's swamping all things we do and women on fire mastermind. And then committed action, what's the action I get to take? Maybe it is a ceremony, maybe it is having a communication? And what is that thing moving forward, I get to go get a mammogram I get to go, stop avoiding having the communication going to the doctor working out moving my body, whatever that is, because you are the only one who knows the solution for you. You are your internal knowing is your eternal knowing. It's already in you. So maybe the practice for you is to slow down. Take a deep breath in, close your eyes. And listen, for however long it takes, and you're gonna have thoughts flow into your brain. Okay, cool. And the next one, cool. And the next one. Because you are the only person who knows for you. And that's the good news, the bad news. You're welcome. The other takeaway is definitely self care. So download the self care guide, it is on the website, Goddess processed.us. Click the link go to Goddess process.us/podcast I believe is the Ignite change URL. And there's a self care guide to give you ideas go through the five part self guide series that I have on here and go through that process. When I receive I am giving others the opportunity to give we have been so conditioned to handle it all ourselves to not be a gold digger or to not be selfish. Who does that land for? It is not selfish to receive. How dare you not allow someone to give? Oh, how about that flip of of script? Yeah, it is toxic to have it all handled yourself? How about them apples. So going all in on my life I am not guaranteed tomorrow I have no fucks to give in this chapter of me. Expect to see big moves from Amber J and I expect to see big moves from you. You don't have to do it alone. You get to be supported. Whether that's in a women's group whether that is in your church group. Maybe you have a Gino group like the girls night out group that I have or you come together in a structured environment like WOMAN ON FIRE mastermind where you have seven months to be held in the transformation so when you fall because you will you have someone to brush you off and get back up. You are at the gymnasium of transformation of this next chapter of your life. You will have peaks and valleys and don't you want to be supported in that? Whether that is a relationship career health challenges, aging all the things that we go through as women as human beings on the planet in this meatsuit at this time whoever sold us that bill of goods that we had to do it alone we are rewriting that chapter this time. I hope you'll join me at Camp power meant DM me immediately like take the action right now. Don't wait on it. Let's get on this and let me help you let me save you Turner bucks. I mean, what's wrong with that? Nothing. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Download the free self care guide Listen to the other podcasts. I just dropped a couple of episodes with Shira Lazar and Laurie H. Schwartz. Go back and listen to them. You are not alone. You are not alone. I really acknowledge and appreciate you for being on this journey I have heard from many of you who have been listening as we go along as you know, this is a real time journey for me and it was my commitment, frankly my stretch to vulnerably share it with you, in hopes that by me sharing the good bad, ugly, the ups, the downs, the awarenesses lessons and learnings that it would support you in the chapter you are going through. And my parting words is, this too shall pass. This too shall pass whatever you are experiencing in this season. This too shall pass like subscribe do all the things I hope this supported you please let me know on social media rate this give us five stars and give us your review this spurns us on let me know topics you would like to dig deeper into. I am starting a pleasure series coming up soon. Working with the YP O groups as a resource in pleasure because we're so inner masculine. We're so potent and powerful as divine feminine beings on the planet. We sometimes tip the scales the other way and we get to learn how to build our the left side of our body that muscle our feminine. Check that out as we go forward and until next time, continue to stay lit